Up and down.
Mood and movements follow the jumps
of a grasshopper racing in a huge yellow field.
Bent legs – bent forearms
Extended legs- extended forearms
Flexions and extensions alternate
as do smiles and tears on my face.
The goal leads the jump,
though the breath regulates the movement,
though the flow sets the mood,
as a grasshopper I keep jumping, unaware.
I move up, lean forward, then fall back.
like insect legs,
knees point to the ears,
small fore limbs seem useless,
but are actually essential for balance.
There is regular movement,
but no inner inspection;
no detection of interior triggers
that lead the race.
And the field in front looks endless.
Then, suddenly, here I am, exposed.
Face to face to the sky.
Exposed and on display, I feel.
Hanging and swinging like a chicken on a hook.
No much is left in there.
Guts have been removed
by a small spoon digging slowly.
Only my black box remains untouched.
My secret and pulsing core is intact,
no one can see through.
The spoon has dig around it,
above and below it,
on its surface and its sides,
but I can feel it’s still there,
hard and painful as a blade
it shines while I bleed from inside.
Then I reach my ankles
and I take hold of myself.
I swing, I sway like a stick insect in disguise.
I know who I am and
how far I can reach,
I just camouflage not to get caught.
My arms and legs extend again,
but this time the breath follows and,
open chest and release,
the light comes in and
I can fly backwards.
As a dragonfly moves its wings back and forth,
able to change the direction of its flight,
I am ready to embrace the world
according to my will or happy to
blindly follow a sudden gust of wind.
Comfortable in this position,
I rest and even relax,
feet become fins and
I now swim up the current
as a salmon going back
where it was born
to give rise to new life.
In the meantime,
I enjoy the current.
I play with the water flow.
This is my time.
And I make the most of it.
My black box now a cherished treasure
to be shown with pride
and no longer hidden in shame.
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